A Departure From The Norm

OK, I know that this blog is supposed to be all about our kids, and that you probably just want to see some cute pictures. But please indulge me while I tell a story that is not about them! I had such a good laugh yesterday from a very unexpected source, that I wanted to share it with you.

Jocelyn and I had decided to start an RESP (registered educational savings plan) for Kai, as we already have for Suava. Yesterday was the day that Chuck, our sales rep for the RESP, was going to call and set it up with me over the phone. So when he phoned, I told him how much we wanted to contribute each month, and then answered some questions for him, which is when I really started having fun!

Chuck: What will your combined total income be for 2007 between you and Jocelyn?

I was doing some quick math on my fingers and toes when he thought he'd help out:

Will it be between 55 and 65 thousand dollars?

I don't think Chuck's ever had anyone respond to this question with an outburst of laughter before, as he seemed quite unnerved by my hearty guffaws.

Hoping to clarify, he managed to stammer out: Remember, that's combined, not just your income. It's Jocelyn's too.

I thanked him for the clarification and told him it was still much lower than that! After giving him a dollar figure, I had to spend several minutes convincing him that our income was indeed going to be that low! Normally very composed and in control, Chuck was so thrown off by my answers that he accidentally skipped the last several questions and quickly hung up the phone!

Realizing his mistake, he called back a few minutes later to finish the questionaire. He really should have known better than to lead off with the question What is your family's net worth?

Taken aback by my raucous laughter for the second time, he uncomfortably tried to offer an explanation. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I was about to ask him if he was familiar with the phrase "in the red," when he again thought it would be helpful to clarify by explaining what "net worth" is: the sum total of our assets, minus the sum total of our liabilities. Thanks Chuck.

What's your house worth?
We rent.

What are your vehicles worth?
We only have one. It's worth maybe $5,000.

What about investments?
Well, Jocelyn and I both own a share in Mountain Equipment CO-OP. (For the uninitiated, this "share" is nothing more than a membership fee, with no return or interest)

How about savings?
Pardon me?
Savings! How much do you have in your savings account?
What's a "savings account"?

After adding up the value of all our assets, he concluded that we had a net worth of approximately $9,000. "Wait a minute, Chuck," I said, "you haven't subtracted our liabilities."

You have liabilities?

I think he was really starting to get annoyed with my boisterous mirth, as he made no attempt to interupt my laughter this time. Upon explaining that we have student loans from college, he quickly agreed that our net worth was more of a net worthlessness.

Again, he said goodbye and hung up the phone, and again he called me back 5 minutes later!

Uh, Ben, we have a problem. Based on your income and net worth, you are only allowed to contribute $20 a month to Kai's RESP. But, if you want to rethink your projected income, and if you think you can earn over $30,000 combined income, then we can let you contribute more.

Poor Chuck! I think he was at the end of his rope when he heard my laughter start again. He really didn't know how to respond. But then, he also didn't know what to say when I asked him how I could possibly plan to make that much money (more than I've ever made before) when I would be in school with no income for 6 months of the year!

Thanks, Chuck! Your rich-man presumptions gave me a good laugh today!